we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize
