just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
organizing the empties. That sober.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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