well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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