New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
