it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Randomize
