I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
