We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
