wakey wakey hands off snakey
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
