Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
