I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
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