Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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