No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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