So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Randomize
