my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
