My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
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