You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
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