i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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