i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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