so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
