His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
