Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
