i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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