i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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