Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
It's just like the Real World with babies
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
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