Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
