I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
He has the fingertips of a God
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
