Just mADE A PArabola og urine
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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