absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
