Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
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