He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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