Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Randomize
