I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Randomize
