Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
