We're facebook friends in real life
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
