I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
