What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
