Yo dont text me then not text me
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
