I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
