god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
My balls are so social today.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
