are you so shy because you have an std?
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
you made out with another girl for some wings
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
