Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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