I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
