Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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