she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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