if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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