In the future we'll all be gay
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
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