why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
