It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
