dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize