is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
